when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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