there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
