I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Soap is not a condiment
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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