it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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