Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
