even my farts smell like vagina
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
