areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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