i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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