Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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