you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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