Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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