I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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