I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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