when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
