We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
