You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
