Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
