Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, sorry about rent.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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