my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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