good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
