She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
