i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You can't motorboat a personality
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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