I don't think brook has ever known best
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
