There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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