Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
