SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
