When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
