We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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