I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
