I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
