Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize