I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
