Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
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so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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