he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize