Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
