ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
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i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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