I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
