some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
