yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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