I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize