Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
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my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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