Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
