I wish I could teleport
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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