He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
