why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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