We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
