I wish i was in the wii world.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
its liver damage thursday
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
