I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
