why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You smell like stripper and shame
you would pick up someone in the library
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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