doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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