smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
