What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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