You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm like, not good at living.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
