I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
God, I missed his penis.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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