Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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