Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
