Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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