You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
