Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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